Autumn - quite possibly one of the most beautiful times of the year, with its vibrant leaves and crisp air. However, as the days grow shorter and sunlight wanes, there is the possibility for some of us to experience a shift in our mood too. This is more likely for those of us with greater sensitivity to our surroundings, but can impact us all in some way.
The impact of the seasonal shift is physically felt. The lower light levels that we receive through the Autumn and Winter, start to impact our physiology. Although it is not fully understood, it is thought that lower light levels affect the production of key hormones involved in regulating our sleep-wake cycle and our mood. Also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), the impact of the darker months is very real and effects some of us more than others.
In addition, the energetic themes of Autumn can also activate feelings of sadness and grief. All around us in the natural world there is an sense of loss - what was once vibrant and bursting with lusciousness, ripeness and of life, is now turning towards shades of brown. Essentially, nature is speaking to us about the part of the life cycle that many of us do not like to think about - death. So many of us find it difficult to speak and think about this aspect of the life cycle, so it is understandable that this time of the year can come along with tricky emotional terrain.
If you are finding yourself struggling with fatigue, low motivation, feeling blue, or low as the season shifts, perhaps be reassured that you are not alone, and that in many ways it is a normal part of seasonal cycles - both in our lives and in the natural world. While it can feel difficult at times, ignoring, or distracting ourselves from how we are feeling will likely lead to greater intensity and can even manifest in the body as tension, pain, or in the long-term, dis-ease. An alternative path is to embrace this time as an opportunity for emotional healing. This path requires some curiosity, a willingness to be open and the courage to feel. When we do this, I believe it has the potential to offer us greater freedom on the other side.
As I write, I also acknowledge the need to tread lightly and go steadily. As someone who has gone through a lot of emotional healing, I also know that there are times when it is simply too much and so some distraction is welcome in order to rest and to still be able to show up in life. It is also important to say that if you are feeling much more than a little low, it is imperative to seek external support. In fact, wherever your mood sits on the rating scale, healing is always best when it is shared.
Let me now share with you ways you might use the themes of Autumn to support as an opportunity for emotional healing. Our first step in this is to slow down enough to feel...
Getting in Rhythm
As we go about our busy lives which rarely seem to stop and prizes convenience, constant availability and productivity as success, we forget that we are in fact part of nature. All of the natural world has rhythms and cycles, and this includes us as humans. As Autumn blows its way in, it is an invitation to synch up with the outside world a little. We can begin by getting outside and soaking up the sun when it is out and filling our hearts with the joy of nature in Autumn. Then we might allow ourselves to adjust our sleep-wake cycle, perhaps looking to turn in a little earlier, or choose quieter ways to spend the evenings. We might also adjust how we rise in the morning, maybe choosing to get out on a walk at sunrise or having a slower start to the day. Ultimately, the Autumn gives us a chance to begin slowing down and nourish ourselves, ready for the colder season ahead. In this slowing down, we are then afforded time to notice more deeply how we are feeling and begin to tap into the root of any low mood we have been experiencing.
Owning the Distractions
As a rule of thumb, most of us find it tricky to be with our emotions - often even the 'good' ones, let alone the ones we do not like. Sadness, anger, grief, fear, shame... All the emotions we label as 'bad', we have a hard time feeling and being present with. We tend to distract ourselves with other things, such as work, other people's lives, TV, shopping, drinking, etc. So you might begin to notice if any distraction tactics have increased recently. Have you been spending more time scrolling on social media as the season has shifted? Have you been wanting to zone out in front of the TV a little more? It is not something to beat yourself up about, you are human after all and feeling emotions can be hard. It is just worth noticing that the motivation behind our choices can sometimes be to avoid feeling what we don't want to feel. If you do notice this, approach it with a friendly understanding and then see if you can tune into those emotions underneath the surface. If not, make a note to come back to them when the time is right and you are more able to explore them.
Recognising & Acknowledging the Feeling
When you are ready, the next step is to recognise what it is you are feeling and acknowledge simply that it is there. This sounds like a straightforward and obvious step, but it is so important that our feelings are seen and heard. Once they are, they can be understood, processed and integrated more easily. While the autumn season quite naturally can provoke some of the more difficult feelings to arise, it also a natural time of introspection and so in that way offers us a gift of helping us navigate our feelings. When seeking to recognise how you are feeling, you might need extra time to tune in to your body, or time to simply talk it out with a friend. Mindful meditation is a great way to begin noticing how you are feeling. You might also enlist the help of an emotions wheel (worth a google if you are unfamiliar) to aid you in putting words to what it is you are feeling. It is so important to acknowledge and feel all of our emotions, no matter how challenging they may seem. Denying or suppressing them can further exacerbate our low mood and in the long-term can contribute to physical issues cropping up in the body.
Feeling for Healing
Your body is a power house of wisdom and knowledge. It always knows. The problem is that our thinking mind often gets in the way. The mind often hasn't got time for the body to process all these feelings, which is where the distraction tactics come in. However, when we tune in to our bodies and recognise the emotion we are having, we can then feel them. We do this by becoming deeply aware of how each emotion feels in our body, where we feel them, the sensations that arise when they are there, and crucially if we are ready to release them. Ways we might release emotions through the body include (but are not limited too), movement, crying or voicing in some way, talking them out, expressing them through art or writing things down. As we tune in deeper, we can also begin to see how our emotions and thoughts are linked. Consider sadness, for example. Let the feeling of sadness come in to your body and ask yourself where you feel it. As you notice the feeling, be curious about the sensations of sadness - is it hot, cold, tight, loose, pulling, pushing, light, heavy, etc? You might also notice if any thoughts or beliefs came up as you felt sadness. If, as you felt this feeling something came up for you, can you let it be there as you feel it and allow a release to happen if it is ready?
Letting Go to Make Space
Like the leaves of the autumnal trees, releasing and letting go is a way of lightening the load and enabling resources to be drawn inwards. After all, holding on to challenging emotions can be a real energetic drain. As we move into a slower pace and a more introspective time in the Autumn, we might take an inventory of what we are carrying and inquire as to whether we are ready to let some things go. Old resentments, hurt, grief and other painful feelings that may have not had the time or space to be acknowledged in the moment they occurred, may now be ready to be released. It can be a great burden to hold on to these feelings - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If we are ready to release them, we can simply create space in our minds and bodies. We are also able to recoup the energy that has been spent holding it and repurpose it for ourselves. Letting go cannot be forced, and may need the support of a friend, or therapist. However, if it feels right, let it go and allow the release to be in its own time and way. Sometimes it is quick, and sometimes for more deeply entrenched emotions it may take some time.
Receiving the Message
When we take the time to feel and release our emotions, not only does it give us greater insight into ourselves, but it can bring along important information. Sometimes a feeling is simply moving through, but other times it can have a message for us that needs to be heard so that we can grow and make more aligned choices. This is especially true if it is a feeling that keeps coming back to us time and time again. For example, when we tune in, we might notice a nagging sadness, or apathy and on closer inspection this is the body's way of telling you that a certain situation is no longer right for you. A job, relationship, home... When these emotions come and we take time to let them be, we may be able to hear the wisdom coming from within and from there make the necessary changes. This of course is not easy and sometimes the message is not one we want to hear. Kindness and compassion for ourselves, is the place we may need to go if we are not ready to hear the message. Sometimes the time is not right, or we do not have the capacity to make the changes we know we need - and that is okay. Perhaps we can simply park it, knowing that we can come back in due course.
Looking After Ourselves
Allowing emotions to be recognised, felt and moved through the body can be a process that knocks you a little off balance temporarily. So it is important to go steady and have tools up your sleeve that will assist you in finding equilibrium again. For me, when I have had an emotional moment, or have been feeling a little low, I head to my Yoga mat and practice those things that will help me to ground and regulate. This may include some slow and deep belly breathing, a guided relaxation, or a slow Yoga practice with poses such as child's pose and tree pose that embody a feeling of groundedness, calm and stillness. It might also look like cooking up a delicious meal and taking time to enjoy it, or any other ways to nourish my body & mind. Developing kindness and care for yourself is always a good practice, but is especially helpful when you have been working with some difficult emotions. If we are able to offer kindness and care to others, we most definitely can offer it for ourselves, it just involves practice. When we have these tools as part of our self-care routines, it is empowering and builds a confidence because we know we are able to look after ourselves.
Trust
When we embrace those difficult feelings within us, it can seem that we will never get out. There has to be a lot of trust involved in the process of digging in to what is beneath the surface and there are likely to be times when we feel taken over by a challenging feeling. When I have those moments, I am comforted by the knowledge that nothing stays the same and that life is always seeking to find balance. With that in mind, know that just like the natural world around us, the light will return. It cannot be dark forever and we will not feel low forever. Lighter times will come again and through releasing any challenging feelings now, you will be more able to step into those lighter times with more openness, space and feeling ready to embrace the next chapter.
As I started with, big and challenging emotions can be hard to embrace. Especially when we get into patterns of ignoring them, but with practice we can invite them in, feel them, understand them and release them in their own time. I shall leave you with one of my absolute favourite poems that sums these sentiments up nicely;
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-Rumi
If you are struggling with difficult emotions, please do not struggle alone. Feel free to reach out via email, WhatsApp or on my social media platforms. Alternatively, see the helplines below.
Mind - 0300 102 1234.
The Samaritans - 116 123
You may also find one-to-one Yoga Therapy of support. Find information about my packages here.
If you are interested in working with the seasonal themes through the year and would like access to a library of therapeutic Yoga and other self-care tools, consider becoming a member.
Nichola Day
Yoga & Meditation Teacher, Yoga Therapist
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